I am indeed living at a homeless shelter.

I am staying at the Rescue Mission on Evangel Drive in Huntsville. Yes, it’s akin to jail. I am trying to keep my spirits up by telling myself that writers often do strange things to find things to write about….and that if this was the 1960’s it’s just another kind of commune in a way! If you happen to plan to be in Huntsville out running errands and would like to offer me a lift to the bank or library sometime, please text me. Any ride I could get that would save me the 2 dollars a two way bus ride costs would be great!

whine some more Heidi whine some more

My step father has threatened to divorce my mother for not having dumped me at a homeless shelter last month.

I was assaulted under strange circumstances on sept first. I chose not to press charges and the perp lied and twisted facts with apt management and I was evicted. So much for Republican values and morals. At any rate my mother took her stipends and started buying an rv I could live in for a few months on family property. My step father is offended that I sold my car to my despised faux Jew of a biological father to pay bills when I lost my job in November of 2007. The economy was tanking and it was a time to be selfish and rape the state and fed like the prisoners at Gitmo in the name of patriotism. I made a mistake doing that and my step dad has demanded that I be dumped at a homeless shelter because I am so offensive to him and his family who can’t stop attacking my mother as a second class citizen so he can have a wet place to stick his dick and his defrocked Methodist minister mother can impersonate sexual abusers like Marion Zimmerman Bradley in the name of one or another conception of theocracy.

That said I will be getting in the truck with him to be subjected to an hour and a half of verbal abuse before I am dumped at a homeless shelter over an hour away.

I have a college degree. I do not have a criminal record. My credit is shot. I do not have a car. My massage insurance has lapsed and I can’t even take a desktop computer with me to try and earn money writing.

Thanks for shitting on me America. Thank you all for reminding to jump off the nearest bridge if I am not raped again and assaulted again by my family or so called friends.

Someone cut my throat please. I am so worthless not even my own family thinks i deserve to be loved or cared for. I exsted to spread my legs as a child and even now i am only a wet place for former lovers to smear with shit in the name of education and christian economics. Just another worthless american whore not worth the sacred almighty sperm wasted to create me.

Happy everyone? Marxist enough? Feminist enough? How is that diatribe for self hatred and self mutilation? If I just had a cock what a Caesar I might make?

speaking truth to the ex

Dealing with drama. Family drama. Its good and bad. I’ve been isolated the last five years without transportation and it limited my contacts with others personally and socially. My family is not supportive of my situation having been without work and a car. One does necessitate the other but they have zero tolerance. Mom has amazed me again however by standing by me and pleading for time.

Out of heartbreak I called my ex. When he realized it was me on the line he dog cussed me. He is of the opinion that definitions of health are so rigid you might call him spartan.I am 5’7 and currently weigh less than 145 pounds but more than 140. He has so rationalized his abuse of his family and friends via his addiction relapse that when he dog cusses me my weight balloons to the size it was when I was being treated for bipolar and sleeping with him by the way… My doctor has since taken me off meds and believes I am recovered enough to not need them. Ironically I am now only 2 sizes bigger than I was when we dated 20 years ago. I’m a size 10 or 12 now depending on the clothes and I was an 8 20 years ago.

I texted him for an hour or two after that and somewhere found the nerve to ask him what he plans to tell his daughter about men who talk to women the way he does. His ex wife is…larger than my mother and I. His daughter is on the chubby side and given that I know I am overweight by government standards but not grossly so I know his baby girl is as well. Since when do government regulations matter so much anyway?

I asked him if he still had enough sense of who he is and where he comes from to have a dictionary on hand. I asked him to look up axiology and said that it is part of his philosophical foundation. I tied it to his degree also. I pointed out that every time he takes a swipe at women even his own baby girl indirectly, he rips up and shits on the only foundation for integrity he has.

He blocked this number shortly thereafter.

My own Radio Show?

Thank You Robin


I was approached earlier this month about hosting a radio show based around my Professional blog, Borderlands of Health and Wellness and possibly a smaller role for this blog on Spa! I am flattered to be honest and I would love to give it a try for at least a season to see how things would work out.
It would be a partnership and I would have to come up with some financial capital for the first season. However, the beauty of partnerships is that there is more support for the program itself and more shoulders to carry the financial burden as well. I am sketching out some ideas for a few shows now and also looking for topic suggestions if anyone has any subjects they would like to know more about. Another perk of having corporate sponsorships to shoulder the task would be the ability to get to information and guest speakers that might not ordinarily be available.
As the Borderlands Blog is focused on both mainstream and fringe topics in the CAM field, there is a wide swath of territory to cover and I would love to see if I can pull this off and make it happen actually. My mother has been after me to do something along these lines with radio for years. I do wonder however if there is truly a market for this kind of broadcast??
Please leave your comments below if you have any or send me an email! I would love to hear others thoughts on the subject.


I usually love moving. When you have as many boxes of books to store and shelve as I do – others are within their rights to request payment of one kind or another. Fortunately for me, I have wanted out of Florence for YEARS and the sticks of Limestone County are even more acceptable than usual.

I want to try and take some pictures of the new place. I have never been ‘ok’ with living in any kind of trailer, despite the fact that my dad’s parents did for a number of years. I am currently living in a 30 foot RV on the side of Mom and Miles farm with the cat. It’s small enough to make the cat active while there are enough windows to keep his head swaying from side to side for hours between naps.

I have the bare necessities and it’s working so far. It’s actually comfortable and I didn’t know what to expect. I just feel isolated and the parents are looking at me in despair about the fact I now have a degree and no job.

Peace Corps or small business idea or Grad School again……….hum…….

I love you. You know who you are.

Submitted both Cont Ed courses

There is no excuse for how long I have taken to write these two short papers. None. Yes, I am a ‘new’ writer but there is no excuse when your broke.


I am suffocating under 2 pathology articles for all the wrong reasons again.

Four aromatic recipes for medical use and personal adornment from Ancient Egypt


The Greek playwright Homer famously opined that the Egyptians of his era were “a race of druggists.”  While archaeologists have never recovered a fully intact Egyptian herbal or complete record of the spice contents of any Royal kitchen or pharmacy, partial records do exist. Queen Hatshepsut is recorded as sending an expedition south to obtain not only valuable resins, but also the trees that produced them and other recorded expeditions for such commodities are recorded as occurring between 2800 BCE and 2000 BCE.
Here are two examples of aromatic Egyptian medical remedies:
Megaleion:  a mixture of balanos oil with burnt resin, myrrh and cinnamon was believed to relieve inflammation caused by any wound.

Metopion: bitter almond oil, cardamom, lemon grass, sweet flag, galbanum, balsamum seed and resin was a mixture used to treat injured muscles and problems with limited range of motion. It was considered “heating” and able to “open vessels,” such as ulcers.

*As a massage therapist by profession and trade I personally would love to try and concoct a modern version of the latter remedy to try at home!

In the ancient world, the Egyptians were renowned for their perfumes and spices.  They excelled at enfleurage, which is an ancient technique of layering aromatic flowers and herbs between tallow or fats and heating them until the fragrances are absorbed. To such mixtures, the Egyptians would add ingredients such as bees wax, honey and gum resin to thicken them. This was a typical means of creating an unguent and perfumes commonly included balanos, moringa, olive, almond, castor or sesame oils as a base.

Roman historian Plutarch recorded that the Egyptians burned kyphi in the evening ritual at the temples, drank it to detoxify the body, and as a breath freshener. He also stated that kyphi “seductively brings on sleep … so that it relaxes and loosens the sorrows and cares of daily life.”

Two examples of “well-known” Egyptian perfumes as described by Roman historians are below:

Amarakinum: balanos oil, wood balsam, camel grass, sweet flag, marjoram, costus, nard, myrrh, cinnamon, honey and wine.

Sampsuchinum: green olive oil, marjoram, cassia, thyme, southernwood, bergamot, mint flowers, myrde and kyphi.

If anyone tries to make any of these at home, please comment below or send me an email! I would love to know your thoughts on the fragrance and any benefits you experience and would post your product review on this blog!

The four best essential oils for depression

The four best essential oils for depression


Ashley M Heidi Carter BS, LMT

How often have you found yourself mildly depressed and chosen to lift your spirits by going shopping? How many times has a shopping trip turned into a visit to the salon or day spa for a haircut, highlight or polish change? It’s a common pattern among men and women and even more common among those diagnosed with a number of mood disorders such as Bipolar disorder and anxiety disorders as but two examples.

Current research on the use of essential oils as a method to alleviate symptoms of underlying mental health disorders is ongoing. CAM or Complementary and Alternative Medicine research is described as being in its infancy and this is not inaccurate. Criticisms have been made about research design and/or methodology as well as other flawed approaches ad nasuem since the 1980’s. What may be notable to consumers of essential oils is that researchers use different medical models and terminology when conducting research. For example, a study by Buchbauer and Jirovetz in 1992 uses a definition of aromatherapy that limits the benefits of essential oils to exclude any method of delivery that is not olfactory, or based on the sense of smell alone. This is representative of the hypothesis tested. If you don’t know the precise definitions of the medical model that was used to test a hypothesis, how do you know if you’re using the product in the appropriate manner to achieve the results you’re looking for or if you’re truly experiencing a scientifically based relief of symptoms or just the often hyped side effect of a natural view of psychology known as the placebo effect? Even within the CAM industry, the definition of holism and holistic varies between the way it is defined by public health and the way it’s marketed by private industry.

To help you navigate the uncharted waters of research literacy, free vs. paid research access, marketing hype, as well as the plethora of mainstream and alternative medical models, here is a short list of the four best essential oils for treating depressive symptoms.

  • Lavender: Effective sedative that induces sleep. Lavender is off limits to those who have been diagnosed with epilepsy and that those who experience seizures of any kind should consult their doctor before using or exposing themselves to Lavender essential oils or any fragrance containing lavender.
  • Peppermint: Noted for its focusing and uplifting effect on those engaged in task based activity typically associated with high stress.
  • Neroli: Neroli is an excellent nerve tonic for anxiety. It is frequently an element in aromatherapy blends for this purpose. Orange Blossom is also derived from the same plant and is not as highly regarded by professional aroma therapists as having quite the same effects Neroli.
  • Melissa: Excellent oil for reducing anxiety and depression symptoms. Frequently an element in aromatherapy blends for this purpose. Melissa and Lemon Balm, which is derived from the same plant, are both contraindicated for those who are pregnant or nursing.

Gestalt Psychology and Me

I decided to drop any idea about swearing out a warrant regarding my assault. It’s just not worth the hassle at this point. I did make certain that a paper copy of the report is on file with the cops just in case it ever comes back to haunt me in any future search for an apartment or house. Also, given the barrage of stereotypes that rose simultaneously – complete with both gender and race baiting might I add – you can never be too careful to make sure you have records of all such incidents.

I am still twisting the idea of sending the documentation complete with screen shots of the disturbing number of views a post intended for my ex has gotten to his new address. Given that he may be remarried at this point just hurts and while I don’t think he’s quite this sick, it seems his ex wife has been able to maintain legal leverage for a number of years for a reason. That said, I just feel miserable about what has happened with him but obviously, who gives a shit about a cheap nigger whore like me in white girl clothing who gets her sorry ass beat so the mentally disturbed can ‘manage’ their emotional ‘issues’?

Swearing out a warrant next week

I will be swearing out a warrant next week and I am meeting with one of the local women’s organizations to go over the circumstantial evidence that appears to draw unsubstantiated links to my assault before turning that information over to law enforcement.


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