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Tolerance for another’s pain


Well the cat is doing his best to comfort me the past few days. I appreciate him for it actually. I didn’t realize I could lug him around like a stuffed animal and tuck him under my arm while I sleep but I can. And he’ll tolerate me. I hadn’t bothered before. Interesting fact.

So about grief today. “Pain is the most individualizing thing on earth. It is true that it is the great common bond as well, but that realization comes only when it is over. To suffer is to be alone. To watch another suffer is to know the barrier that shuts each of us away by himself. Only individuals can suffer.” – Edith Hamilton 

I appreciate this quote. More so now that he is gone and in Florida because it opens up a window on what he has lost with the rest of his family over all this. And at least accepting the full extent of what he is suffering puts his decision to move and to marry her in a light I can begrudgingly tolerate if not agree with. He has tolerated my inability to let him go, my texts, postcards and sudden bursts of phone calls out of the blue when my delayed emotions surfaced after his latest admission. We do suffer alone and can at best only bear witness.

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