I am deeply upset about my previous post. It’s written to my ex and his current/girlfriend/fiancée.
I have never been this hateful in print….EVER. It’s targeted. I insult and I compliment her, but the post is overflowing with examples of psychological abuse toward her. If I had to describe in my own words how I approach him in the lengthy post below, I interrogate him right up to the wall and hold him there. I have been editing this post for at least three days. When I started writing it, it was sheer madness and woe is me subjectivism. Now it’s just hateful with a touch of dark humor as if that somehow is supposedly an improvement and from a writing and reading standpoint it is but that does not justify it by default either.
Occasionally ass beatings are deserved. Sometimes in public.
I don’t know enough about the situation past or present, to know if this is truly one of those times.
I have asked friends for feedback but I think everyone is shocked to be honest because NOONE out of the two women friends and one admin of one of my bi polar support groups have replied….yes, I am taking my depression meds.
If my mood does not improve in a week, I may see about getting my bi polar meds again if I can bring myself to reconsider the over rationalization of emotion aka scientific reductionism.
And that only raises my suspicions about psychological drama being played out in public as if this is supposed to ‘excuse’ or ‘justify’ something heinous.
Mom texted me to read Philippians 4 6 thu 7. I read it and of course I am disappointed but not in God.
I took a second look at the title and it’s religious themed stereotyping from hell. I have only seen the Quentin Tarintino movies ONCE EACH because he disturbs me THAT BAD. All of them.
It reminds me of the Christian fiction that I read for a year or two when I was in 5th and 6th grade. Mom had no business letting me read it to be honest. The series I read were titled as all female names, Jennifer, Wendy, Christy. All the books were about young women in their teens or barely out of them that made a series of delusional choices about love and relationships and ended up in prostitution. Fallen woman syndrome. They were all about the redemption of women by a Christian man. To this day…I can not rationalize why I read them. I am not anti relationship at all, but apparently I need to read the one I found in the library here at Courtview and see if I can pick out the pattern and decided if the theme is as pathological as I suspect it is. It might help me mind my own business.
Does anyone know of the books I am talking about or have any comment on them?