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Guilty whores


On Christmas Day I’m pausing to count my blessings.

I’ve finished my degree and while I wish I was getting into something different than having to go back into a blue collar job, the fact that this blue collar job has always paid the bills is yet again, not lost on me.

I’ve moved to a State that on the front end appears to value the incorporation of a legal framework for the profession by having the decency to host the professional board on a website that is part of the State Boards of Health. Unlike Alabama, where a search for the board takes you to a domain name rather than a State website that links to a proxy address which includes “state”, “gov” or some other term denoting civic oversight.

The fact that I’m staying in a homeless shelter rather than a hostel or hotel doesn’t bother me in most ways. It’s no more a humiliation than not having completed my degree by 2008 at the latest. Given that late date, and my actual graduation date of 2012 what is more humiliating?

Being car-less with a degree or deluded enough to think society wouldn’t reduce me to this regardless even if i were married or unmarried with children and had a run of bad luck?

There are fairy tales and then there are yet MORE fairy~tales.

If anything bothers me, besides the obvious things such as strangers sharing living space, having to use a locker for my belongings, not being able to buy my own food or keep snacks in my locker, there’s not much to complain about. I’m Nietzschean enough in some ways to find the situation refreshing when I compare it to the misery of living in Florence in public housing while finishing my degree in an atmosphere every bit as ghetto as this from 2005 thru 2013.

The peeps I’m working with all seem kind, friendly and courteous and easy to work with. It makes my job easier and likeable by extension. The company is a good one. They really do think about their employees and have structured their operations in a way that proves it and reminds me why I value my career. The health insurance is also welcome as is the flexibility that comes with the job when the management is focused.

I’m keenly aware of the awkwardness of my position with them. None of the business or management classes I took covered the human resource angle of dealing with bonuses. I received two when hired and both are contingent on my license clearing. Meanwhile I am not using the one I have access to the way I THINK it’s technically supposed to be used. I’m using it to pay for licensure when traditionally its intended to come on the back end to compensate me after I’ve already paid for it. So it’s limiting the money I will have left over to get a place, which will extend my stay here until my license clears…once I have a temp pass I can make the money in a month to cover the shortfall.

Beyond work my life remains a joke and a farce. I continue be mocked as a whore, a homewrecker, an economic assassin who cost a man living on the edge a job, no doubt addicts and prostitutes should be included in economic and job assassination category as well, mentally ill by those who cant excuse themselves, and of all things of course lets not forget, I’m guilty of feminism: aka with the traditional deterministic abuse of Western History and culture as devoid of religious values in favor of economics, I’m also guilty of conspiring with other women to rob fathers of custody of their children, presumably so i can justify some pluralistic Satanic conspiracy of secularism and homosexuality thru art and modernism and invading the private lives and history of others.

After all, slopping hogs is a dirty job.

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