“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”
― Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times
I continue to get hits on my personal blog for three posts on a sexual abuse scandal in the pagan and literary community.
An uncle and I shared a sexual abuser in common. Without attacking the bias of former friends and family members for their private sexual choices and preferences, I will pause to note the following accusations leveled against me by them during a number of repetitive arguments.
6. Insensitivity/ Selfishness
The uncle in question has an ex wife whose non western family disowned her according to their cultural traditions which include syncretism, when she married him.
My mother left her families faith for a Jewish cult and was disfellowshipped by them. My father unlike my mother was not excommunicated in the same manner.
The symbolic death is equivalent in syncretic terms. Hence when I’m attacked the above sins include solipsism and more than a few accusations of sexual deviancy and/or Religious Hersey.
When making these accusations the time other family members have spent in my Aunt’s country of origin are touted but she nor her daughter speak for themselves. When accusations come from former friends, they are sexualized and coupled with charges of addiction and gender abuse.
What is lost on the former friends is their lack of first hand knowledge both practical and religious.
Within the family, there is always a proxy for my aunt and her daughter. Some vested interest speaking in their name for numerous dubious reasons.
Note that on both hands, syncretism is present in the faiths of all concerned. Secondly, note that so is bisexuality and homosexuality when speaking of my father’s step children’s father and when speaking of the former friends in question. Mother’s side just so happens to include the incest.
I happen to be heterosexual.
I’ve been accused of a number of sins over the years, including blind faith and ‘complimented’ about my deference to my biased perceptions of whom is an authority on a given subject.
Only rarely are the accomplishments and limitations of those leveling criticisms put forward given the dynamics of the family.
That the nexus died with Nana and then my uncle is only acknowledged at this LATE DATE under the false irony of the dates of his death, which in turn derive from the date of his molester’s death on this same uncles birthday.
Indeed, just ‘hurry up and wait’ as I recall is a bit of military jargon, an excuse for assorted delays and as far as I’m concerned, excuses all around.