Dear Ex

I offer you Amnesty for the following sins, large and small.

1. For what was done to survive.
2. For what was done in the blind stumbling of finding your way.
3. For forgetting dates and numbers and flowers that never arrived.
4. For not being able to make it work.
5. For continuing to breathe, to live.
6. For wanting anything and everything but me.
7. For murdering the Truth and being unable to deliver a clear yes or no TO MY FACE.
8. For denying me a new beginning by calling a reunion a second chance.
9. For denying me knowledge of the stories accumulated in the lines on your face, hands and body while I was away the last 22 years, doing what I had to do in spite of everyone and everything we collectively knew.
10. For not noticing that I kept your tokens of affection from over 20 years ago when I gave away everything given to me by others, no matter who, what or why.

I couldn’t stop the music.

I don’t play.

My bucket is riddled with holes.

Mom was the one who took music appreciation. I took Art. Forgive my sense of Aesthetics, for walking away rather than giving away the self deceptions of others in public print on a private blog.


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