Post Valentine’s Day Follow Up: Echoing my theme from the 14th about the perils of solipsism in relationships and thought.
Jem got into a twitterspat tonight with someone who believes in the magical properties of safe words. For some BDSM people, safe words are magically retrospective; you may have harmed someone and hurt them, but it’s OK, because they can use their safe word to prevent you from doing any further damage.
In the week that Fifty Shades of Shite comes out, it’s important to understand the conundrums at the heart of the idea of safe words.
The first is the conundrum of why we need safe words at all. Safe words have existed for thousands of years; stop, don’t, no – they’re all words that have the effect of making a situation safe, provided everyone accepts them at face value.
So if you say that safe words are necessary, you’re saying that ordinary language will not work.Why not? Why would no, or stop, not work? I can only hazard…
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