- Step One “We admitted we were powerless over the New Age—that our Higher Selves had turned us into flakes.”
- Step Two “Came to believe that a powerful bullshit detector could restore us to sanity.”
- Step Three “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of our lower selves and a good psychiatrist.”
- Step Four “Made a searching and fearless disposal of our crystals, tarot decks, incense, angel cards, rising signs, wands, spells, medicine wheels, pendulums and lottery tickets.”
- Step Five “Admitted to God, our Guru and our seminar leader the exact nature of our delusion.”
- Step Six “Were entirely ready to take back our mind, body and spirit.”
- Step Seven “Humbly asked our Higher Power to fuck off.”
- Step Eight “Made a list of all the New Age assholes we’d been nice to and vowed to treat them all like shit.”
- Step Nine “Insulted the New Age wherever possible, especially when to do so made us look bad.”
- Step Ten “Continued to take personal inventory and, when we were wrong, promptly relished in it.”
- Step Eleven “Sought through television and newspapers to improve our conscious contact with humanity, concentrating only on our ability to understand what the hell was really happening in the world.”
- Step Twelve “Having avoided a paradigm shift as the result of these steps, we vowed to carry the NAA message to New Agers everywhere and to practice being ordinary in all our affairs.”
What is a Paradigm Shift?
What is a Logical Fallacy?
What is Process Philosophy?