Alas! I don’t believe I will be sailing in Hawaii


It’s been three weeks since Steiner Leisure hosted their yearly North American cattle call and I’ve not received a reply. Stephanie the recruiter for this event did say everyone would receive an email reply regardless of outcome in approximately two weeks. I held a faint glimmer of hope at the end of last week but there has been NO communication to abate my insecurities.


“Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, where the dogs of society howl. You can’t keep me in your penthouse, I’m going back to my crowd…” ~ Sir Elton and Taupin

Yes ladies and gentlemen, this bit of toast that comprises my physical being is convalescing after a lengthy march thru academia and I would indeed have loved to sail with you. However, all may not be lost. Let me get back to you in two years.

See you After.

Man live streams “zombie like behavior” as 33 people in Brooklyn overdose on K2 ~ Spice ~ White Tiger
A section of Brooklyn looked like a scene from The Walking Dead when an epidemic of synthetic drug K2 was used in heavy amounts Tuesday. One man, 38-year-old Brian Arthur, was so stunned by the atmosphere around him, he posted footage of people in a zombie-like state on Facebook Live Tuesday morning.

Irony: pattern meets image

Astute Vera Bradley patrons will recall that this card lies atop retired “Safari Sunset.”


The caption reads “Look, I found your dignity!”

Steiner North American interviews in Las Vegas 2016


It’s June 24th, 2016 and I was a guest of The Nevada School of Massage Therapy and The Steiner Education Group. It’s been a lovely experience and visit to Las Vegas.

I made time recently to look up basic info on the founder, Rudolph Steiner before the meeting. Today I learned Mr. Steiner began his career as “the hairdresser” to the  English Monarch in the early 20th century. The Nevada School of Massage Therapy is a Steiner school and for this season, recruitment was limited to the only American registered vessel in the fleet.

I was shocked there were under 30 people at the meeting and a healthy portion were oriented to the East Coast. I believe there were two candidates from West Coast States, California and Oregon. My massage partner for the demo is a graduate from The Ann Arbor School of Massage and is currently in private practice. I wasn’t the only Massage Envy employee present, nor was I the oldest candidate, the most veteran candidate or even the most educated candidate.

Here is a basic list of what legal requirements successful applicants must complete before beginning their training and reporting for duty:


This isn’t the best photo but hopefully you can enlarge it. I also hope I’m not in legal violation by sharing this photo on my blog. Please let me know if you readers know something I don’t. (Thanks)

At least one candidate is a recent graduate of The Utah College of Massage Therapy’s Master Bodywork program for instance. Another parallel would be ISPA’s management certifications that they created a bit more than ten years ago. One candidate is a long term Steiner veteran. She has been with the company almost ten years and despite this, all returning employees go thru the same recruitment process with each back to back contract.

Basic Pros and Con’s:

Cons: Longer work days are required at a pace Americans would reject for anyone not salaried in a white collar profession.

Communal living. Enough said.

Pro’s: Based in Hawaii!!

Reasonable compensation.

The interview itself was very limited. Brief even, for the distance travelled by both the recruiter and candidates. I’ve been thru more thorough interviews with domestic employers. Despite this, I did feel comfortable. When I asked about upward mobility in the organization I was assured that it’s performance based and meritocratic. I didn’t ask about lateral moves in the organization, such as applying for different positions once a contract had ended.

I hope to receive an acceptable passing interview notification in two weeks. If not, I will be staying put in Nashville and will begin making plans to begin my paralegal and lining up a more cost affordable graduate school than Emory Law. Emory is still too expensive for my finances, even with the blessing of one or more contracts with Steiner.

The Satanic Verses or Secular “Apologetics?”

I was reminded today of two different movie dialogues, both of which were spoken by seasoned comedians. One was indeed a comedy but the other was a tragedy. The lives of each comic have followed the courses laid out in those films more or less.

Bill Murray in the comedy Stripes has a line where he’s winning over an audience and courting their vanity. “It’s the stories you tell” he exclaims. Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society asks his students “What will your verse be?”

It’s June of 2016. It’s an election year. Stanford Professor Francis Fukuyama’s thesis “The End of History and The Last Man” has recently been ‘annotated’ it appears by Joseph Crawford of The University of Exeter in the UK. Another Professor of German Literature who spent 30 years at UC Santa Barbara before heading to Switzerland, Lawrence Rickles states in his book The Vampire Lectures “What is a historical fact? It’s AFTER THE FACT.” Academics will note the curious change in my linked citations. It seems that once again, Wikipedia editors could not provide a link to Professor Rickles profile at the State Academy in Switzerland or an English translation of the schools website.

Across the pond and in the Tennessee foothills of Appalachia, far from either Ivory Tower mentioned above, I have found a moment of peace, along with new books to burden myself and others with moving. I can’t say I have acquired “new” academic idols just yet, but give me time to digest a few things. It’s a mere year and six months of a moment that I pray will take me to international waters where jurisdiction is as legally ambiguous as Art is.

Depending on how the story of the Enlightenment is told, different outcomes emerge. Historiography is another word for ‘style’ depending on who is teaching, and WHAT they’re teaching. If there is lingering doubt about the origins of what it takes to create modern “conspiracy”, I do recommend the books authored by the Professors above.

Perhaps when the defacto political prisoner that both the Federal Government and my home State of Alabama cannot claim was created in isolation as a literary “decentered subject,” or an “axiological exercise” (might we ALL pause to recall, across Both Sides of EACH POND) then perhaps the POINT of Professor Fukuyama’s witty title will do more than “trickle down” the Appalachian Trail but also “Ride the Freedom Train” North.

For Sale: Lucchese Cowboy Boots.

Up for sale and on eBay auction: my father’s Lucchese Cowboy Boots.

Size: 8.5 D
Color: Black






On the reading list: Inventing the Addict


I recently purchased two copies of Susan Ziegers book Inventing the Addict. I intended to share the second copy with a friend but paused instead.

My home State is Alabama. In the past 16 years, the State has introduced health and wellness curriculums into it’s four year and two year college systems and I speculate that around 30% of cities have more than one kind of recycling program in operation, such as trash, newspapers, and fuel for city vehicles.

Alabama has been a conservative State since before the Civil War, regardless of the governing political party. Even liberal politicians up unto the Siegelman administration were “Southern” liberals. While a subtle difference it’s not something to overlooked as miniscule. Bernie Sanders supporters in Alabama, like those who once favored Ross Perot, tend to adhere to a patterned discourse that corrals modernism within a traditional framework.

I have inadvertently found myself reviewing the convergence of different topics in the historiography of idealism. I’ve laid on my bed each evening looking at this cover and waited for an inspired zen whack on the head rather than crack the cover. Intellectual constipation is never pleasant and it seems the entire world wide web of social media and journalism have succumbed to the same stupor. If this malaise is “convenient” by any given standard, the premise of some subsumed essential illumination and clarity remains buried and burdened by a lack of descriptive terms.

Inventing the Addict purports to illuminate the history of health and wellness in a reflexive fashion: not by cataloging what wellness is, but by recording what wellness is not. Some critical reviews of the use of reflexive language when deployed in this manner typically reinforce and by default reintroduce “decentered subjects” according to principles that ultimately derive from axiology. This “decentered” approach to “truth” is defined in many historical genres as aposterori logic and-or literary romanticism because of it’s axiological response to teleology.

I hope reading this will not be a quagmire from which I fail to escape.

Stay tuned for a forthcoming review on this book in the next 45 days.

The limits of militant modernism: Satanism 2016


Is Satanism more than human or just a modern day “Tartar Yoke”?

The video above was filmed 2015 in Lansing Michigan on the steps of the State Capitol. I almost think I’ve seen it elsewhere and prior to 2015. I’ve never been in interested in Satanism or it’s history. The history of domestic propaganda circulated thru Facebook however is a documented phenomena.

I recently purchased two copies of the Pulitzer prize winner Richard Ofshe’s 1994 book Making Monsters False memories, psychotherapy and sexual hysteria. As of now, I haven’t made it to the chapter on the “Satanic Panic” but I already suspected that eugenics was the body in question.

Given the global trauma of 911, what are those of us who still inhabit the middle ground of intellectualism to do or say about Satanism or reactions to it circa 2016?

Trump and the recent news that a California court has cleared Trump University for misleading students in the schools Real Estate division under the liability in question says something and nothing.

Humanism is not only purported to be one, if not “the” link to Marxism but also Satanism and ONLY WITH THE CAVEAT of Art via Axiology to differentiate both and either from a definition of “essentialism” that purports to have a decentered monopoly.

I am afraid my response is that it’s time for me to throw in my towel and cast a “No” vote. I am not educated enough in all the necessary angles. Turn off your Facebook news feed.

I say this as a sexual abuse survivor, as the daughter of a recovered anorexic and bulimic, as a child briefly raised Jehovah’s Witness until the age of 6, as the daughter of a believer in Christian Identity, as a CAM practitioner, the niece of a transcultural psychotherapist that practiced mental health in Japan and the UK and a former foreign correspondent for NBC Asia. As the niece of a human resource manager under the State Department for embassies overseas and occasional lecturer in Washington. I say this again as the sister of a recovered substance abuser, the relative by marriage of retired a Air Force vet who survived Don’t Ask Don’t Tell with a son in tow.

I’m honest enough to call a spade a spade. And smart enough to know I don’t know enough.

Good night Ladies and Gentlemen. Please Excuse Me. I thought the US had a President. Not a political prisoner and former Governor from Alabama’s Grid Iron auditioning for a future role in Steven Spielberg’s Star Wars franchise.

Open letter on privacy: closer to fine

The Indigo Girls wrote and performed a song titled Closer to Fine in the 1980’s. I loved it then and now. There is a line from the song that has always had significance for me.

Given the news that Dame Helen Mirren will be playing the role of Sarah Winchester in the aptly titled film by the same last name, I sat down oddly aware and weakened simultaneously. The only reason I can ascertain for the feeling is subject to a divergent post modern theme to which I would rather avoid for the most part at this juncture circa 2016.

Back to the Indigo Girls.

“Closer To Fine”

I’m trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
The best thing you’ve ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it’s only life after all
Well darkness has a hunger that’s insatiable
And lightness has a call that’s hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I’m crawling on your shore. 

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine. 

I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a B-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind, got my paper
And I was free. 

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine. 

I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.
To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as I’d been the night before
I went in seeking clarity. 

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine. 

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountain
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine. 

We go to the bible, we go through the workout
We read up on revival and we stand up for the lookout
There’s more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine.

The song above is to me, on par with U2’s Where the streets have no name. NEITHER song is the wrong choice on ANY given day because with both, ontology is subject to teleology. And isn’t that a lesson that I never questioned or predicated with the post modern “For whom?”….

If any curious passer by happens upon a crisis, a conspiracy or what’s left of a corpse and a corpus and bothers to ask questions, someone remind my betters that “crawling on strange shores” so to speak was more and less than anyone knew.

The innocent and the guilty do know who they are.


Echoes, Alan Rickman and Teleology


I wrestled with catharsis today. The lack of sleep has now extended to at least the 36 hour mark. As I laid across my bed, prolonging my own discomfort in the present with cigarettes and soda and for the future, when they both run out, I suddenly became still. And gratefully, my mind began to drift. After an hour of contemplation on various themes I have for many years felt and sensed a unpleasant disconnect from,  Alan Rickman of all human beings, walked thru my mind both backward, forward and as a metaphor after the fact.

The odd decentering of my inner life thru pop culture suddenly back in focus brought me close to “meaning” which is something like being close to God and the divine. Grace is another good word. Daylight, utter darkness and in between. I did not once see the face but I knew the movies my mind presented.


The classic (to me ) Sense and Sensibility from the 90’s. The scene where Kate Winslet finally accepted him, as he read poetry wasn’t the scene in my mind but that was the upshot. I saw his red jacket and hat when he was in the reeds.


In utter darkness with only the prior thought in mind, his back appeared as if Professor Snape at a distance was still teaching about idealism and the roles surrounding a golemesque judgment.


And the final verse, which did provoke a measured musing I am prayerfully sending to stir action tomorrow did in fact come first, during the writing of the card that will accompany it. Runes. And from months ago, a memory of all good, dry, solid things mixed in the mortar of The Tower.

Good night, Godspeed and remain blessed.


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